Speak Your Ideal Client's Language: How Listening Builds Your Authority

By Simone Hoa Aubrey

Language has played an important role in my life for as long as I can remember.

I received my primary and secondary education in French and graduated with the French Baccalaureate. Yet, when I entered secondary school at twelve and was given the opportunity to choose a foreign language, I chose English.

Quite simply, I loved the English language.

That love led me to attend American English classes at night to become more fluent. Eventually, my education and command of English contributed to an extraordinary opportunity: winning a Colombo Plan Scholarship to pursue my university studies in Melbourne, Australia.

Looking back, I realize that language has done much more than help me communicate. Language has opened doors, created connection and helped me understand people from different worlds.

That realization came back to me during my recent Spiritual Business Hour conversation with Crystal Lynn about speaking the language of our ideal clients and how listening helps build Authority.

Crystal asked me an important question:

“How do you know what to say to your ideal client to help her with her problem?”

My answer was simple:

I listen first.

Listening Beyond the Words

When I am working personally with a woman, I don't listen simply to determine what I should say next.

I want to understand what she is feeling.

I listen to her words, but I also pay attention to the energy behind those words. Then, rather than immediately offering advice or a solution, I ask another question based on what I have just heard and felt.

That answer may lead to another question, and another.

Sometimes we may need to go seven or eight layers deeper because the problem someone initially describes is not necessarily the real problem.

Very often, the deeper issue is something she cannot yet see for herself.

This is particularly important in my work helping women discover their Genius.

I believe that Genius is an activator of Authority.

Yet our Genius can be difficult to recognize because what we do exceptionally well often comes so naturally that we take it for granted. We may not even consider it valuable or distinctive.

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So how do I help a woman reveal more of herself and discover what may be hidden beneath the surface?

When Crystal asked me that question, my answer was one word:

CONVERSATION.

Conversation gives me the opportunity to listen, understand, ask, discover and go deeper.

It isn't about following a rigid list of predetermined questions. The next appropriate question emerges from what the woman has just shared with me.

That is where something powerful begins to happen.

Simple Language Creates Connection

I also believe strongly in using simple language.

We sometimes assume that demonstrating expertise means using sophisticated terminology. I believe the opposite can be true.

Real expertise includes the ability to communicate what we know in language another person can quickly understand.

And when someone understands us, our words can create energy. That energy can create feeling.

Feeling matters because when a woman feels understood, she becomes more willing to reveal what is really happening inside her.

She begins to think:

“She gets me.”

That creates connection.

Connection begins to create trust.

And trust allows the conversation to go deeper.

This is where listening and Authority become connected.

To me, Authority is not about proving how much we know. Sometimes Authority is demonstrated by asking the right question and really listening to the answer.

The more deeply I listen, the better I understand. The better I understand, the more appropriate my next question becomes. And the deeper our conversation becomes, the more likely we are to discover what is really preventing the woman from moving forward.

LISTEN → FEEL → UNDERSTAND → DISCOVER → CONNECT → TRUST → TRANSFORM

Trust is particularly important because meaningful transformation cannot simply be imposed upon someone from the outside.

A woman needs to feel sufficiently understood and supported to begin looking within herself, recognizing what is there and ultimately trusting herself enough to change.

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The Language Reveals Itself

Perhaps, then, speaking our ideal client's language is not primarily about learning the perfect marketing words to use.

Perhaps it begins with becoming a better listener.

When we listen deeply enough to understand the person—not merely the problem—we don't have to struggle quite so hard to find the right language.

The right language begins to reveal itself through the conversation.

And when our ideal client can understand our words and feel that we understand her, we are doing more than communicating our expertise.

• We are creating connection.
• We are building trust.
• And from that trust, genuine Authority can begin to be recognized.

Watch the Conversation

This article was inspired by my conversation with Crystal Lynn on The Spiritual Business Hour, Episode #86: “Speak Your Ideal Client’s Language: How Listening Builds Your Authority.”

Watch Simone & Crystal on YouTube (Episode #86) →

Simone Hoa Aubrey Business Authority Mentor & Strategist OWN Your Distinctive Authority™ Founder, S.H.E.-Xcelpreneurs

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About the Author

Simone Hoa Aubrey

Business Authority Mentor & Strategist, Founder of S.H.E.-Xcelpreneurs

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Simone Hoa Aubrey is a Business Excellence Coach and Founder of S.H.E.-Xcelpreneurs, helping ambitious women recognize their value, strengthen their Authority Positioning, build profitable businesses, and create lives they truly love through Authenticity, Alignment, Action, and a commitment to sustainable success with purpose, impact, and legacy.